i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize