im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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