Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
