i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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