Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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