Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize