i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
