We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
