my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
