it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
