I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
