we have officially lost it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize