I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This beer is not sobering me up at all
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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