if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
