This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
