Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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