she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
