have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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