i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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