Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
