a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
