Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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