I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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