i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize