so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
