Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
