She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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