OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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