is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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