your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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