how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
