he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
