I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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