My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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