bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
