ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
