My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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