We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
