I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
