yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize