Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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