Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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