well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize