You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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