i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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