but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
