also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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