Your face is a jimmy john
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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