Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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