Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
