I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
