who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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