his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i dont even know how to be here
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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