There is no way he is gay with that hair.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
