Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
