I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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