You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
