So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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