Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
