The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So much rum. So many feels.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
