That's when you crack a 10am beer
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
